Roy Zimmerman’s “To Be a Liberal”

I found Roy on Pharyngula recently. He’s a satirical musician, who does some great songs making fun of many topics, from stereotypes about Liberals, Creationism, Political Correctness, and more…

The following video is the one that PZ posted on his blog, and certainly my favorite (of the ones I have listened to so far).

On my way in here tonight
I bruised my nose hugging a tree.
I was late ‘cause I had to stop by on my way in San Quentin
to set a criminal free.
And I ran out on seven-grain bee-pollen macrobiotic organic sustainable medical marijuana
for my jerky knee.

Do you know how hard it is
to be a liberal?
Well, do ya?

I had to learn to speak French, Spanish, Hindi, and dolphin
just so I could relate.
I’m exhausted from taxing and spending,
and controlling the media, and hiding my agenda,
and ruling San Francisco as a separatist nation-state.
And in yoga today, I got bent out of shape
‘cause the guy doing bow-pulling pulls in front of me was intolerant
which I hate!

Do you know how hard it is
to be a liberal?
Well, do ya?

Constantly feeding the hungry
and bleeding my heart
and exceeding my budget
and needing approval
and reading The Nation
and leading a sing-along — EVERYBODY!
(No wait, that was just an impulse. Sorry.)

I was shootin’ hoops with some brothas
when I sprained my ba-donka-donk
and ya know that ain’t chill.
I saved an endangered snail-darter
from being eaten by an endangered spotted owl
which I saved from being eaten by an endangered snow-leopard
which I saved from being shot by a poacher
who I had to kill — (with kindness. It took a while.)
And I hit a speed bump and I spilled my chi-latte all over the hemp-covered seats of my Prius and the speed-bump turned out to be a homeless Native American so I apologized and gave him some land, I stomped out his cigarette and took away his gun and shot myself in the nuts on my way to my frivolous lawsuit for sexual harassment where I was suing myself ‘cause I masturbated — against my will!
Do you know how hard it is
to be me?
Do you know how hard it is
just to be a knee-jerk liberal?
What I wouldn’t give
to be a circle-jerk conservative!

I’d also highly recommend “Is America Ready“.

For more information on Roy Zimmerman check out his page on YouTube, or his site (http://www.royzimmerman.com/).

A special thank you to Josh, in the comment below, for finding and posting the lyrics.
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About Rodibidably

Jeff Randall is a frequent volunteer for free-thought organizations, including the Center For Inquiry – DC. Having been blogging since January 2008, he decided that a community of bloggers would be an interesting new experience (or at the very least a fun way to annoy his friends into reading his posts more frequently). Since finding out about about the existence of, and then joining, the atheist/skeptic community in 2007 he has been committed to community activism, critical thinking in all aspects of life, science, reason, and a fostering a secular society.
This entry was posted in Humor, Music, Politics, Review. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Roy Zimmerman’s “To Be a Liberal”

  1. Josh says:

    To Be a Liberal
    Roy Zimmerman
    from Thanks For the Support

    On my way in here tonight
    I bruised my nose hugging a tree.
    I was late ‘cause I had to stop by on my way in San Quentin
    to set a criminal free.
    And I ran out on seven-grain bee-pollen macrobiotic organic sustainable medical marijuana
    for my jerky knee.

    Do you know how hard it is
    to be a liberal?
    Well, do ya?

    I had to learn to speak French, Spanish, Hindi, and dolphin
    just so I could relate.
    I’m exhausted from taxing and spending,
    and controlling the media, and hiding my agenda,
    and ruling San Francisco as a separatist nation-state.
    And in yoga today, I got bent out of shape
    ‘cause the guy doing bow-pulling pulls in front of me was intolerant
    which I hate!

    Do you know how hard it is
    to be a liberal?
    Well, do ya?

    Constantly feeding the hungry
    and bleeding my heart
    and exceeding my budget
    and needing approval
    and reading The Nation
    and leading a sing-along — EVERYBODY!
    (No wait, that was just an impulse. Sorry.)

    I was shootin’ hoops with some brothas
    when I sprained my ba-donka-donk
    and ya know that ain’t chill.
    I saved an endangered snail-darter
    from being eaten by an endangered spotted owl
    which I saved from being eaten by an endangered snow-leopard
    which I saved from being shot by a poacher
    who I had to kill — (with kindness. It took a while.)
    And I hit a speed bump and I spilled my chi-latte all over the hemp-covered seats of my Prius and the speed-bump turned out to be a homeless Native American so I apologized and gave him some land, I stomped out his cigarette and took away his gun and shot myself in the nuts on my way to my frivolous lawsuit for sexual harassment where I was suing myself ‘cause I masturbated — against my will!
    Do you know how hard it is
    to be me?
    Do you know how hard it is
    just to be a knee-jerk liberal?
    What I wouldn’t give
    to be a circle-jerk conservative!

  2. Rodibidably says:

    Josh,
    Thank you very much. I had search high and low (ok, all I did was type in roy zimmerman to be a liberal lyrics into google) and had no luck.

  3. Miriam says:

    I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

    Miriam

  4. Golbez says:

    Brilliant song. Song is tuned to D# standard and in the key of D#. Here are the chords presented as though it were in E standard though (so you don’t have to transpose each chord a half step):

    Verse (plays through twice):
    E, G#m, A (022100, 466444, 577655)
    F#m, Dmaj7, E (244222, xx0222, 022100)
    G#m, G#, A (466444, 466544, 577655)
    E, F#m, G#m, F#m, B (022100, 244222, 466444, 244222, 224442)

    Singalong:
    G, C, Fmaj7, A#, D (320003, 032010, x03210, 113331, 200232)
    D, A (200232, 002220) <-transition back to verse.

    Verse ending variation:
    (E, F#m, G#m, F#m, A, B) x2
    E, F#m, G#m, F#m
    F#m, A, B, E

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