Pat Robertson: World’s Biggest Douchebag Cunt?

Oh Pat Robertson… My words fail to express just how big a douche you truly are… So instead of trying,  I’ll just let YOU explain yourself just how big a cunt you really are.

Something happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about. They were under the heel of the French, you know Napoleon the third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said ‘We will serve you if you will get us free from the prince.’ True story. And so the devil said, ‘Ok it’s a deal.’ And they kicked the French out. The Haitians revolted and got something themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after another.


About Rodibidably

Jeff Randall is a frequent volunteer for free-thought organizations, including the Center For Inquiry – DC. Having been blogging since January 2008, he decided that a community of bloggers would be an interesting new experience (or at the very least a fun way to annoy his friends into reading his posts more frequently). Since finding out about about the existence of, and then joining, the atheist/skeptic community in 2007 he has been committed to community activism, critical thinking in all aspects of life, science, reason, and a fostering a secular society.
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17 Responses to Pat Robertson: World’s Biggest Douchebag Cunt?

  1. poietes says:

    Un-fucking-believable, but not really for Pat-I-pray-away-hurricanes Robertson. I think that he hasn’t had enough press lately, so he came up with this bullshit babble about pacts with the devil being a good reason for thousands and thousands of people to be crushed and buried alive. F**K him.

  2. John O. says:

    I hope there IS a Hell, so Robertson, and Limbaugh can go.

  3. Jeff Randall says:

    It’s all an attempt to remain relevant, and to be able to spout his racist beliefs without being open enough about it to be called a racist…

  4. writerdood says:

    I wonder what a trip through Pat Robertson’s head would be like? Imagine a world where everything is controlled by invisible forces. A place where you can make a pact evil forces that will then do your bidding. A place where divine magic can heal your friends and destroy your enemies. A place where a pacifist God encourages you to bomb people.

    It’s like a comic book, but less colorful.

    • Jeff Randall says:

      A trip through his mind would scare the crap out of me… I would not wish that on anybody…

      • writerdood says:

        It reminds me of HellBlazer – which was a comic book. The move “Constantine” was based on it. The premise was, what if angels and demons were real, and you could manipulate them using the rules in various holy texts. As a fantasy, it’s pretty cool really – a kind of neomodernistic gothic horror concept with a character not unlike Elric of Melnibone who doesn’t so much cast spells as he does manipulate the invisible forces around him by playing them against each other. It’s kind of cool, really, and almost forms its own genre.

        But, much like the world in Pat Robertson’s head, it’s only real if you want to believe in it. I think you could even create a decent roll playing game from the world in Pat Robertson’s head.

        GM: Demons are coming through the gates of Hell. No one can see them but you. They are destroying Haiti by evoking earthquakes to make them suffer. What do you do?

        Player: Have these demons been sanctioned by the forces of God? How were they authorized to enter our plane of existence?

        GM: The Haitians made a pact with the devil, and therefore God is allowing them to wreak havoc upon the Hatians.

        Player: Then I will announce to the world what is happening, and that they brought this suffering upon themselves.

        GM: Give me a percentile roll. You have a 95% chance of looking like a total butt-munch to the entire world.

        Player: good thing this is just a game…

      • Jeff Randall says:

        “You have a 95% chance of looking like a total butt-munch to the entire world”

        I think the percentage here was much to low, but otherwise, quite good!!!

  5. poietes says:

    Did anyone catch Keith Olbermann’s take on this? Exposed Robertson as the senile fool that he is.

  6. Michael Baker says:

    Mr. Robertson is NOT a christian. He is simply in ‘it’ for the power he supposedly acheives. He is the epitome of hypocrite. I thank God that I am able to see how he has truly failed in his life here on earth.

    • Jeff Randall says:

      Have you ever heard of the No True Scotsman fallacy?
      It basically says that just because YOU don’t consider somebody to be a member of a group you belong to, it does not mean that are not part of that group.

      For instance, I think Carrot Top is a pathetic, unfunny, freak. That doesn’t mean he’s not a true redhead.

      In this instance, just because you find Robertson as reprehensible as I do, does not mean he is not a christian. In fact in my view, it means that those who call themselves christians should be even MORE vocal against him than I am (as a non-christian), because he makes you look bad.

      I’m not disagreeing with your points that he is a power hungry, money hungry, hypocritical ass. But to claim he’s not a christian is a bit self serving on your part…

  7. poietes says:

    Laughed until I snorted coffee up my nose. In PR’s alternate reality, that’s probably very close to what happened.

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