Roy Zimmerman’s “Defenders of Marriage”

Today’s music Monday (yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it’s Tuesday) is from Roy Zimmerman.

What’s funny about war, poverty, ignorance, bigotry, neo-conservatism, homophobia, greed, lust and fear? Ask Roy Zimmerman. He’s been writing satirical songs for twenty years.

…Woody Guthrie, The Weavers and Dylan are obvious lights in Roy’s pantheon. Other favorite writers are Tom Lehrer for his hilarious and impeccably crafted topicality, Ani DiFranco for her marriage of brilliance and bravery and Joni Mitchell for her seamless union of sound and sense.

“There’s nothing funny about World Peace,” Roy observes. “Social Justice never killed at The Comedy Store. If we ever attain a worldwide consciousness of peace and justice, I’ll be happily out of a job. But as long as power corrupts, I’ll absolutely have a career.”

Every time we think about same-sex marriage
It makes us sick to our guts
I mean, two people who want to commit to a stable
Monogamous life-long relationship
What are they, nuts?
It’s unnatural!
Now a man should not lie with a person who is a guy
He should only lie to his wife, the bible is clear
We’re —
Defenders of marriage
In three-button suits
We’ll raise our double standard and see who salutes
Defenders of marriage
Defending the institution against people who want to get married

Every time we think about same-sex parents
“Oh, my gosh!” we exclaim
I mean, two people who want to provide a protective
And nurturing family environment
Have they no shame?
It’s so deviant!
It’s the Lord’s holy word, as my second wife said to my third
That a family’s based on obligation and fear
We’re —
Defenders of marriage
Connubial narcs
Ever vigilant and patriotic patriarchs
Defenders of marriage
Defending the institution against people who want to get married

One summer evening when my woman was doing laundry
I shared a six-pack with an old John Bircher
And oh so wisely he imparted an ancient quandary, to ponder
He said, “It’s nature versus legislature.”
[Spoken] Are people born gay, or do they turn gay just to piss off Dick Armey?

We’re an army of dicks
With a militant stance
Let’s get the government out of our lives and into our pants
Defenders of marriage
Defending the institution against people who want to get married
And have their insurance carried
And be beneficiary’d
And be next to the ones they love when they are buried

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About Rodibidably

Jeff Randall is a frequent volunteer for free-thought organizations, including the Center For Inquiry – DC. Having been blogging since January 2008, he decided that a community of bloggers would be an interesting new experience (or at the very least a fun way to annoy his friends into reading his posts more frequently). Since finding out about about the existence of, and then joining, the atheist/skeptic community in 2007 he has been committed to community activism, critical thinking in all aspects of life, science, reason, and a fostering a secular society.
This entry was posted in Humor, Music, Politics. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Roy Zimmerman’s “Defenders of Marriage”

  1. poietes says:

    Thanks again. Loved this, especially “We’re an army of dicks with a militant stance…”

    Everybody sing.

    • Rodibidably says:

      Roy Zimmerman is great. PZ Myers turned me on to him a while back, and I’ve been a huge fan since…

      Still waiting for a chance to see him live, but I’m sure the opportunity will come.

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